Instantly Hooked
by Wireless Spatula
Summary: Starts at Year 1. Continues to the end of seventh year. HPGW RWHG VERY VULGAR LINGO!
1. Year I

Instantly Hooked 

Disclaimer:I seriously don't own Harry Potter stuff, yo!

Romance/Angst.

Year 1

After Harry's family had dropped him off at the station, the eleven year old looked around, trying to find 'Platform 9 ¾.' He asked an assistant who thought he was just joking around, you know. Harry was desperate. He looked between 9 and 10 and couldn't find anything. He looked at the clock. 5 minutes to 9 it said.

"Same Every year. Packed with muggles, of course. Come on! 9 ¾ this way!"

Harry heard 'muggles' and '9 ¾' and followed the voice. It was a plump woman with red hair and five children. Harry watched in awe as three of the kids ran straight into the wall and vanished!

"Excuse me, ma'am. How do I- I…"

"Get on the platform? Yes, run straight at the wall. Don't worry. You'll be fine. It's Ron's first year at Hogwarts as well. Go on." She gestured to a boy who was still there. The other child was a girl, also with fiery red hair.

All of a sudden, Harry was overcome with feelings. He couldn't understand why. If he tore his eyes away from this girl, awful, terrible things would happen…

He was torn from his trance when the girl noticed the scar on his forehead. "Oh my god! You are Harry Potter, aren't you?" She seemed so excited, Harry felt excited as well, though, yet again, he couldn't explain why. "My names Ginny Weasley! Nice to meet you!"

Harry shook her hand, which was so soft and nice. He felt the sudden impulse to do something dramatic. He said in a forced nice voice, "Nice to meet you, Ginny. Yes, you are right. My name is Harry Potter."

Harry swiveled his cart around, and sprinted into the wall as fast as he could. He couldn't dawdle any longer staring at Ginny Weasley. The train was going to leave in 2 minutes, and he had to get on. He rolled his baggage on board and found an empty compartment, went in, and sat down.

After a few minutes, the train started gaining speed, and Harry saw Ginny chasing the train. There was a knock on the door. Harry looked through the glass and saw Ginny's brother, Ron, looking at him pleadingly.

"Do you mind if I join you? Everywhere else is full."

"Sure, go ahead." Harry looked through the window again, but only to find that the station and Ginny were gone. Harry sighed as he turned around to find Ron staring disgustedly at something wrapped in plastic. It looked to be a sandwich. Harry heard Ron mumble something about hating corned beef.

"So. Would you like to get acquainted?" Harry asked.

Ron nodded and stuck his sandwich back into his bag. "I'm Ron Weasley. You're Harry Potter. We have established that. So. Which house do you think you'll end up in?"

Harry remembered his meeting with that albino boy. "Hufflepuff." He mumbled.

"Ah. I'll probably end up in Gryffindor. Just like all the rest of my family."

There was a knock, and Harry opened the door to find a lady with a trolly. After the door closed, the compartment was full of candies. Ron was explaining them to Harry.

There was yet another knock, after which a girl with bushy brown hair walked in. "Hi, has anyone seen a toad?" She stopped when seeing Ron. She was instantly hooked. As was he.

Harry didn't understand why they were so quiet. "No, we haven't seen a toad."

The girl tore her eyes from Ron and spied Harry's scar. "You're Harry Potter? Such a pleasure to meet you!" She turned to Ron. "And who are you?"

Ron swallowed his candy and said, "Won Reasley."

Harry laughed. "Funny, Ron. Its pronounced 'Ron Weasley.'"

The girl sat down next to Ron. "I'm Hermione Granger. You guys should put on your robes. I expect we'll be arriving soon." She stood and strode out of the room quickly.

Ron continued to stare in her direction. Harry suddenly understood. Ron and Hermione experienced 'Love at first sight.' Holy shit. Does this mean… Harry and Ginny? "Love at first sight?"

_The year went like it did in the book from there. Except with more frustration from Harry not seeing Ginny, and Ron and Hermione staring at each other all the time._


	2. Year II

Year II

Disclaimer: Don't own shit!

It was summer. It was 3 weeks since Harry had successfully saved the sorcerers stone from Quirrel. But the odd thing was… None of his friends had written to him. Not Ron, Hermione, or even Ginny had. He hadn't even gotten a Hogwarts letter. He wondered if he even had friends, or were they just in it to be associated with the Boy who Lived? His uncle screaming for him from downstairs snapped Harry from his train of thought. He sighed and stood warily, slowly trudging to his door.

Once Harry had successfully come downstairs, he walked to living room. There he found his uncle Vernon placing a bowtie on his glob of a son. Harry turned and noticed his aunt Petunia placing plates, silverware, etc. on the table. _Ah. The dinner speech again. _Harry thought.

Vernon observed that his nephew had come to the room.. Finally. He walked to the back. "Alright. Seeing as how Potter is present, at last, we will go over the procedure. Dudley, you will be where?" He asked his son.

"I'll be at the door, to take their coats and hang them up."

_I'm pretty sure that's not what you mean._ Harry thought amusedly at Dudley's stupidness.

"Excellent. And you, Petunia?"

"I'll be in the lounge, waiting to welcome them graciously to our home."

"Outstanding. And you, boy?"

"I'll stay in my room, being inconspicuous and making sure they are oblivious to the fact as to that I exist." _ Jeez. I have to stop hanging around Hermione. Im taking her vocabulary._

"As long as that meant your not existing, then you're bloody right. Now eat and go."

Harry walked to the kitchen, grabbed a slice of Limburger (ew) cheese and trudged to his room. But when he walked in he dropped his… cheese. (still gross)

"Wha- who the bloody hell are you?" There was a small green creature, clothed in a pillowcase jumping on his bed.

The thing stopped jumping and turned to Harry. "Harry Potter, sir! Tis an honor to meet you! Im Dobby the house elf!"

Poor Dobby. He never saw it coming. Harry grabbed him by the ears and chucked him straight out the window. Harry looked out and straight down. There was lying the lifeless body of this 'house elf.' But Harry noticed something had fallen out of Dobby's pocket. Harry went and grabbed his Nimbus 2000, and flew down to grab it. He picked up what looked like to be a stack of letters. All addressed to.. Him! "You son of a bitch. You intercepted my letters?" Harry kicked the corpse. He then chucked it into the trash can. Harry then looked around to see if the cost was clear. It was. So he flew back up through his window. Hey. Better safe then sorry, eh? He opened his letters and read through them all. Surprisingly, many were from Ginny. Some were tearstained, the ones proclaiming that he hated them, so that's why he never wrote back.

Harry felt tears come to _his _eyes now. He wrote back to all the people who wrote to him. A 157,873 word long letter to Ginny, a 12,056 worder to Ron, and 3,908 words for Hermione. He used larger words in hers, so it was shorter, yet still got the point across. Harry wrote 13 words for Hagrid.

Once Hedwig had taken off, a little bit low, Harry decided to start his homework. It was then he realized how much parchment he use for the letters. "Shit."

Harry then prompted to figure it out in the morning. He turned out his light and lay on his bed, the thought of the murder he committed not bothering him one bit.

About 57 minutes and 13 seconds later, Harry heard a car. He just shook it off. Privet Drive could have someone coming and/or going. But Harry sat up when he saw the headlights come right into his room. He got up and saw a floating Anglia. And insert whistle here was she a beaut! But that's off topic, sorry. Anyway, inside the car were all the Weasley siblings younger than Percy. For those who haven't read the books or at least seen the movies, these people were Fred, George, Ron, and (to Harry's delight) Ginny.

The boys looked angry. Ginny looked tearful. Harry looked surprised.

"Get your fuggin trunk Potter. And get in." Ron said angrily.

Harry did so immediately! He packed up his crap and chucked his luggage into the Ford's trunk. He then hopped into the seat between Ron and Ginny. He looked at Ginny longingly. Ron, who began interrogating at once, brought him crashing back down to earth

"Harry! Stop staring at my sister and look at me. We need to know why you haven't been writing to us. I've invited you over at least 96 times. Why didn't you respond? Poor Ginny was torn to pieces and thought you hated us! So whats going down?"

Harry told them the whole story, conveniently forgetting to tell them that he killed Dobby.

"Whew. We all thought you didn't like us anymore, Harry." Ron said, relieved.

"Hey Ron, have you talked to Hermione?" Harry asked, wanting to gauge Ron's reaction.

Well, Harry got what he wanted. Ron turned about the color of a tomato. "Well, erm, I yes." He said embarrassedly.

All the guys laughed. Ginny looked confused. "What? Why is this making him embarrassed?"

Fred looked into the back seat, letting George take the wheel. "Well. Ginny. There's this thing that sometimes happens that's called 'love at first sight.' I guess it's kind of like you and Harry." Everybody laughed except for said Ginny and Harry. They turned the equivalent color of what Ron had been just moments before.

Everybody was quiet for 7 minutes 43 seconds until George broke the silence. "Hey, look! Ottery St. Catchpole's up ahead! We're almost there, guys."

Harry said, "Look, the sun is already coming up!" It was true. The horizon was glowing pinkish.

3 minutes 17 seconds later, Harry was looking at an extremely large home complete with farm. The car landed, and Harry recognized the plump figure of Mrs. Weasley stomping towards them angrily.

"In!" She yelled at them all. All the people rushed into the house and sat at the table. Mrs. Weasley gave them all a piece of toast. She didn't want them to starve, you know. They all munched on their toast wordlessly. Finally she sat down at the head. "As you all know, I am very disappointed in you. All of you. Ginny, I expected better of you. Of course, Im not punishing you, Harry. It wasn't your fault. But the four of you must De-Gnome the garden."

"Damn." George whispered.

They all got up silently. Harry stood, too. "Oh no, dear. You mustn't do that. It's dull work."

"But I've never seen a De-gnoming before."

"Well, you can go, but Im not sure why you would want to."

Harry walked out. Ron was swinging this ugly thing around his head, which Harry concluded was a gnome. Ron chucked it, and it went like two feet over the fence. Wasn't too interesting. His eyes wandered over. He found Ginny's long red hair. 5 minutes later, Harry noticed that he had just been staring at her, working hard. She was so cute when she was all riled up. He didn't care that he was staring.

Eventually, Harry heard the Weasley boys stop hurling gnomes. They were staring at him. Finally, Fred walked over to Harry. Harry was oblivious to this. All that mattered now was Ginny. Well, Fred inconspicuously walked up behind Harry and clapped his hand on his shoulder. "See something you like?"

Harry nearly jumped from his skin. "Wh- What's that supp.. supposed to.. to mean?"

Ron walked up. "Mate. We all know you fancy Ginny. Admit it."

Harry was scared they were going to beat him up. "What? Why would you say something like that? Of.. Of course I don't fancy your sister! Get off my case!" Harry was blushing bright, bright red. He turned and saw Ginny running into the house, crying. Great. Now they definitely WERE going to beat him up.

George, Fred and Ron walked menacingly towards him. Once they were inches from him, they smiled.

"Dude. Its SO obvious. You like her. She likes you. Go to her. If you don't, we'll have to curse you. Go or die! Mwahaha!" George said.

Harry ran into the house immediately. Just then realizing he didn't know where she went. "Mrs. Weasley! Can you tell me where Ginny's room is?"

"Yes I can." She said.

"_Will _you tell me?"

"Oh sure. 6th floor, last room on you're right." Harry rushed up the stairs, not stopping once for breath.

He found said room, knocked, and walked in. Ginny was lying on her bed. Harry walked over to her, panting hard.

"Ginny. I'm so sorry."

"Are you? Seriously. I doubt it."

"No. They were right. I guess I DO fancy you. I guess…"

She sat up straight faster than you can say 'O.'

"Are you sure?"

"I have never admitted it, but I guess I do. Ever since that first handshake. Last year, I was at a loss without you there. But this year will be-" He was cut off by Ginny, who had just sprung forwards, placing her lips on his. He relaxed into this first kiss. It was the romantic kind. Not fierce. No tongue. Nothing of that sort. There was a cheer from behind him. And then, with a jolt of realization, he remembered. He had left the door open. Crapdamnit. They broke apart, and turned to face the door, where Ron, Fred and George were standing.

"What was it you wanted me to come upstairs for, dear?" Shit. Harry recognized Mrs. Weasley's voice. She peered in, and noticed Harry and Ginny's intertwined hands. She jumped up and down. "JESUS! Finally!"

"What do you mean, 'Finally?'" Fred asked his mother.

"He was ALL she ever talked about whilst you were at school."

Ginny blushed. Furiously. In fact, Mrs. Weasley was correct. Harry WAS all she ever talked about.

"Anyways, I don't care what you do, as long as its not sexual. What I mean is no Bj's, Hj's etc."

"Gross, mom!" All the kids said excluding Ginny and Harry, who had found each other's eyes. They just stared at each other, longingly.

Ginny finally tore her eyes from Harry. "If you guys could let us have some privacy, please?"

"Oh, okay." Gred and Forge said at the same time. They closed the door.

Immediately, Harry lunged at Ginny's mouth. She raised no objections. This time, though, there was tongue. Lots of tongue battling. Have you ever seen Kung Pow? The scene when the chosen one and Woah are tongue punching? Yeah. Kind of like that. They made out for a few hours after that.

Ron was sitting in his room upstairs, thinking about Hermione. He was working up his courage. He was a Gryffindor, after all. He got an idea. He jumped off his bed and ran downstairs, skipping 5 at a time! New record! When he was successful in his descent, he ran to the fireplace, grabbed a shitload of Floo powder, and stuck his head in the fire after chucking the shitload into the grate. He said, very clearly, "Dan and Emma Granger's house."

His head was spinning. Literally. Finally, his head came to a rest in the grate of the Granger's. He spotted someone on the couch. "Excuse me! Mr. Granger!"

Dan awoke and looked at the fireplace and noticed a boy's head laying in it.

"What the bloody hell is this all about?" Dan was scared.

"No. Its okay, Mr. Granger. I'm using the Floo Network. My name is Ron Weasley. Nice to meet you. I'd shake you're hand, but it's over at my house. Is Hermione here?"

"Yes. Just hold on a second." He ran off. Hermione came running in.

"Ron! Are you okay? I only see your head. Should I call an ambulance?" She said frantically.

"No, no, Mione! Calm down. Can you lay in front of me? I can barely see you."

She did so, still kind of worried.

"Now, I'm using the Floo Network."

"Oh I've read about that! It's like a telephone!"

"Whats a Fellytone?"

"Oh. That doesn't matter now. Anyway, It's really lovely to see you, Ron. Whats up?"

"Well, I've gone and got Harry along with Fred, George and Ginny."

"Oh, you actually did? And you weren't caught or seen?"

"Only mum knows as of present."

"Oh."

"Can you hold on a second? I'll be right back," Ron said.

"Oh, sure."

He took his head out of the fire, grabbed yet another shitload of Floo Powder, and said Hermione's house and all of him went this time.

He stumbled out of he fire, and right into Hermione. They were forced into a hug from this, and their lips collided. Neither of them was complaining, though. In fact, it was surprising, Hermione deepened the kiss. She stuck out her tongue, and he gladly opened up.

A few months later, they were back on the train to Hogwarts. There was no Dobby to stop Harry and Ron getting on the train. Teehee. Anyways. So there were only two seats occupied in their compartment. But there were four people. But wait! The girls were on their boyfriend's laps. It's England's favorite pastime. Neville came round and was startled to find a first year perched on Harry's special place. He was not, however to see Ron and Hermione. 'Finally.' He thought.

Ron and Hermione broke their kiss when they heard that the door had opened. The sound didn't faze Harry or Ginny.

"Hi Neville. Come on in." Hermione said. She scooted over even more to accommodate Neville. Ron was seriously getting turned on. Hermione seemed to notice that he was brushing her bushy hair with his fingers, and that his erection was growing. He then turned, and saw Neville.

"Hey, Nev. What's up?"

"Not much. I see you two have gotten together. Congrats, eh? But who's that Harry's with?"

"That would be my sister, Ginny. Ginny, Harry. Stop. We've got company." Ron said.

Ginny broke from Harry and sat down on the seat, next to Harry. She blushed. THIS was a bad first impression.

"Hi, Neville." Harry grumbled. He was much happier sucking face.

"What's up Harry? Hi, Ginny, nice to meet you. I'm Neville Longbottom."

They shook hands.

There was a knock on the door, and a pretty blonde girl walked in. She had this permanently confused look on her face. She first looked at Ginny, moved to Harry, and stopped. "You're Harry Potter. I'm Luna Lovegood. Nice to meet you."

She looked now to Hermione and Ron. Then she turned to Neville. Oh, damn. It's happened again. They stared right into each other's eyes. They were instantly hooked. She went and sat next to him. She stared at him. Suddenly, there was a large shake. They all looked around. Hermione fell off of Ron and was rubbing her now aching backside. Don't ask how, but someway, they all knew. The Six had come together. And, along with that, they knew that if one was lost or gone off somewhere longer than a 20 foot radius, they would be weakened. But if they were all together, the aura surrounding them would be unbreakable.

Ron, Hermione, Harry, and Ginny returned to their previous activity, which if you'll recall, was making out. Luna Lovegood and Neville just stared at each other for the remainder of the ride. Once they got off the train, Luna and Ginny ran over to Hagrid, who was yelling, "Firs' years! Firs' years over 'ere! Come on now!"

Neville and Harry were most put out that the girls left, but they dealt. They got into the horseless drawn carriages. (Lazy ass illustrators!) Neville and Harry talked to each other while Ron and Hermione were, yet again, making out. Once they were at the castle, they got out, and walked up to it.

Just then they heard an unpleasant yet familiar drawl. "Well, if it isn't Potty pants, Longjohns, Weasel, and the mud blood. How ni-" He was cut off. At 'mud blood,' Ron turned around and socked Malfoy right in the face. Hermione was confused.

"What's a mudblood?"

Ron turned to her after kicking Malfoy in the balls. "It's a really foul name for someone with muggle parents."

"Oh." She turned and gave him another kick, right in the same place Ron did. So much for any more Malfoys, eh?

Ron was surprised. Yet proud. "Oh god I love you." He said and kissed her.

She blushed and smiled. Ron grabbed her hand, and they walked into the castle behind Harry and Neville. They all walked straight to the Great Hall.

Harry looked up. "Hey look! The ceiling's malfunctioning!"

It was true. The ceiling showed it to be rainy and snowy. Though outside it was nice and warm.

"Strange. It should accurately depict the weather. Weird." Hermione said matter of factly.

Ron looked confused. He usually didn't use long words. He was stupid that way.

Oh well. So anyways, 'Back at the ranch,' (Damn, I hate that phrase. My dumbass 8th grade math teacher did that all the time.) the group sat at the Gryffindor table. Just then, the large doors opened, revealing Professor McGonagall in front of a large number of first years, who (excluding Ginny and Luna, who just looked like she was in the wrong place.) looked terrified. They all followed McGonagall to the stage, where the stool with 'Ye olde Sorting Hat' lay.

She unrolled a long sheet of parchment. She looked at it briefly.

"Colin Creevy." A young man stepped forward, shaking from head to toe. He place the hat on his head. It was a few seconds before the hat proclaimed:

"GRYFFINDOR!"

Harry clapped along with everybody else at the table until Colin sat down.

McGonagall looked at the sheet numerous times before it was another recognizable name.

"Luna Lovegood."

Luna stepped forward. She sat and placed the hat on, whistling the whole way. She had the hat on a few more seconds than Colin did before it yelled:

"RAVENCLAW!"

Harry clapped. Neville looked put out she wasn't in Gryffindor. But he clapped all the same.

Another whisk of names. Finally, McGonagall said, "Ginny Weasley."

Ginny, being the last person standing, marched up to the stool. McGonagall placed the Sorting hat on her head.

It had been about 3 milliseconds when the hat Proclaimed:

"GRYFFINDOR!"

Harry stood and cheered and whistled and clapped as hard as he could. Ginny came and sat next to him. They kissed briefly, while the whole room went, "Oooooooooohhh." Now they knew. Great. Frickin A. Oh well. They could deal.

They held hands under the table while Dumbledore stood to make announcements.

"Yes, yes, settle down now. New year at Hogwarts! Forest Forbidden. Lockhart as new DADA teacher. Tuck in."

Everybody cheered. Most people were still looking at Harry and Ginny. All the girls thinking the same thing: Most. Eligible. Bachelor. Taken. Shit. All the guys looking at them thinking the same thing: I'd like to do that piece of meat. Most were talking about Ginny. Others, such as Crabbe and Goyle, were talking about Harry. Where the bloody hell was Malfoy? He wasn't there. Anyways, Harry was enjoying his chicken leg when he heard it.

"KiLl. MuSt KiLl. MuSt EaT NiCe FrEsH MeAt."

"What the bloody hell was that all about?" Harry asked to nobody in particular.

"What was what, babe?" Ginny asked Harry, concerned.

"Oh, nothing. Just someone having the uncontrollable urge for meat. Just struck me as odd, that's all." He didn't want to worry her.

Once the feast was over, Percy and some chick showed everybody upstairs to the Fat Lady's portrait. "Wattlebird." Percy said.

The picture swung forward. Everybody climbed through. Harry kissed Ginny goodnight, and walked upstairs. He went to the dormroom and jumped on his bed, falling asleep almost immediately.

The next week, Harry and Ginny were walking merrily down the hallway, holding hands. All of a sudden, Ginny shoved Harry into a broom Cupboard!

"It's not polite to push, Ginevra."

"PLEASE don't sound like my mother. You'll ruin the mood."

"Oketay."

Then, she attacked him! Her mouth on his. His tongue in hers. And, I want you to know that those two sentences _could _mean 69ing, but that's not the case. Their just making out, you know.

All of a sudden, there was a loud BING BONG! And they went from each other. The announcement afterwards said that everybody should go to their tower. So they did so immediately.

Shortly upon arrival, McGonagall came in followed by Ron and Hermione, who looked freaked out!

McGonagall said, "Our young Mr. Weasley and Miss Granger have made a startling discovery. It seems that Mrs. Norris, Mr. Filch's cat, has been petrified."

There was a cheer from around the room. McGonagall gave them a stern look. It was silent.

"Would either of you like to tell your classmates how you found the cat?"

Both of them turned an identical shade of red. Harry knew this would be embarrassing.

Ron started. "Well, you see… We were um, walking down the hallway, and then we er, spotted something dangling from a torch."

"Upon closer inspection, we er, noticed it was Mrs. Norris. We hurried and notified the closest teacher, which was Professor Snape. He promptly told Dumbledore, and then Professor McGonagall called us all here." They neglected to mention that there was water on the floor. It didn't seem important.

"Now. All of you go to bed. It's already nine o clock. You will have long days ahead of you."

Most of them followed directions. Including Harry and Ginny. Ginny followed Harry upstairs.

Once they were there, he pushed her onto a bed. They were just making out. After a long session, he reached into his trunk and handed her the Invisibility cloak. "Just in case you want to come in later and cuddle." He said with a wink.

She smiled, covered herself with the cloak, and headed to her own dorm.

Harry laid down and fell asleep.

The next day, after Charms class, Harry and Ron stayed to talk to Flitwick.

"Excuse me, Professor Flitwick? Can you teach us some things?"

"Sure!" Flitwick squeaked.

"We want to, er… Learn privacy and silent charms…" Ron said.

"Oh! You want alone times with Miss Granger and Miss Weasley!"

The boys turned red. "Yes.."

So he taught the boys. He even entertained them with a story of his youth in which he used these very charms. I'm scared to say what they are… But I'll say this. It had to do with dorms and Professor Sprout. Eew.

Another week later, Ron decided to put the charms to the test. He made Ginny put a note on Hermione's bed for her to meet with him at eight o clock. He waited and waited. But she never came. It was ten before he decided to go look for her. He got up and walked over to Harry.

"Harry, can I use your invisibility cloak? I need to go find Mione. She hasn't shown up yet."

"Yeah, sure."

"Actually, Ron, I think its in my dorm. Let me go get it." Ginny stated, unabashed.

She ran upstairs and came back down with the cloak. She chucked it to Ron, who put it on.

"Thanks." He put it on and went through the portrait hole.

It was morning. Harry had just woken up. He turned on his side to find Ginny sleeping quietly. She was so beautiful in the morning.

Harry turned to see his alarm clock. He switched it off, and noticed it was 6:42. Harry looked to Ron's bed. But Ron wasn't there! What the crap! Ron was too much of a sleeper to get up this early. And on a Saturday morning, even.

There was something fishy going on. Harry quietly got up, as to not wake Ginny. He didn't give a shit about Seamus or Dean if they woke. Harry walked downstairs. Still no sign of Ron. Or Hermione for that matter. He climbed through the hole. The fat lady was still asleep. He walked and walked through the halls. Finally, he came to the library.

Harry was at the least, surprised. There was Hermione, wide-eyed. There was also a girl Harry had seen before, but didn't know. She was a Ravenclaw. And a Prefect. But one thing odd, though, was that there was a leg off to the side. Harry stared at it. He poked it. He then touched the top part. Oh. Shit.

Harry pulled the Invisibility cloak off of Ron. He, too, was staring, wide-eyed. None of the three were moving. But Hermione had a mirror in her hand. Why? He didn't know.

All he knew was that he needed to get them to Madam Pomfrey. Harry ran up to the Hospital Wing. He woke Pomfrey, and told her what happened. They rushed back down.

She magicked three stretchers and lifted the students onto their own. Harry told her that he'd be right back.

He ran upstairs. He went to the tower. He went to his dorm to wake Ginny, but she was already down at breakfast. He ran to the great hall.

There she was. He grabbed her and took her to the Hospital Wing. He explained on the way.

When they got there, Madam Pomfrey was trying her darndest to wake Hermione, without success.

Ginny was crying. Harry was almost crying. But he had to be strong for Ginny.

Pomfrey looked at the arrival. "I'm sorry, but I can't allow visitors as of present. But I can use you. Can you go fetch Professors Dumbledore and McGonagall for me? I need their help."

They ran into the great hall. Awesome. Dumbledore and McGonagall were still there. Harry and Ginny ran up to the teachers table.

"Professor Dumbledore! Professor McGonagall! Ron, Hermione and a Ravenclaw prefect have all been attacked! Their in the Hospital Wing!" Harry cried.

The teachers stood. They all ran up the stairs to the wing. Lockhart ran along too. He's a loser. He aint got much of a part in this story. God, I hate him. Oh well.

They all ran to the wing. Dumbledore walked warily over towards the beds.

He turned to McGonagall. "Inform the students."

She nodded and ran off.

Dumbledore then turned to Ginny and Harry. "All the attacks are linked. Mrs. Norris, Mr. Weasley, Miss Granger and Miss Clearwater. They must have all done something to infuriate their attacker. Any ideas on who it could be?"

Ginny and Harry looked at each other for only 6 milliseconds. "Malfoy." They said in unison.

"Except I don't know what Penelope had to do with it." Harry said.

"Maybe she was in the wrong place at the wrong time?" Ginny suggested.

"Perhaps. But I _do _know that the two should go back to the tower. This is undoubtedly a very hard day for you both."

They nodded and turned. Harry and Ginny went as fast as they could without actually running.

Once they were in the tower, they were bombarded with questions. Ginny whipped out her wand, pointed at her neck, and said "_Sonorous!_"

"EVERYBODY, SHUT UP!"

They did so. _"Quietus!" _

"Without a doubt, this is very confusing! But all that we know is that Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, and Penelope Clearwater are petrified. Yes, just like Mrs. Norris. Now, if you could leave us ALONE, we need to figure out how to reverse the effect! So, if all of you could SHUT UP and give us some mother fucking PRIVACY, we'd gladly answer any questions later. Not now." Harry yelled angrily.

"_Mr. Potter!"_ A familiar voice called.

"Oh shit." Harry murmured. He hadn't realized that McGonagall hadn't left yet.

"What a display! A perfect role model! I hope that you can explain yourself, Potter." McGonagall said, not angrily, really. But understandably.

"You get it, right, Professor? I mean, I just lost both best friends; I didn't want to talk about it. Using curse words usually shuts people up quickly."

"I know! It worked pretty well. I need to start cussing. Maybe I should start now… Yes. Fuckhead."

Harry was staring at his transfiguration teacher amusedly and amazedly. Wow. A teacher cussing? Awesome! Great year ahead. Wait. No Ron or Hermione. Shit. Bad year approaching.

"Okay, shitfaces, I need you to copy down the damn formula for transfiguring a stupid animal into a glass."

The new regime had begun. People actually listened and liked McGonagall now. Lessons were… fun.

People were doing homework, and cussing in their essays counted as words. So, naturally, long essays were handed in.

There had been no luck except for one lead for Harry and Ginny. Mandrake juice apparently worked for unpetrifying one. But Professor Sprout's mandrakes were babies still. So there wasn't nearly enough juice.

Before anybody knew it, it was Christmas. Harry had gotten Ginny a Nimbus 2000, and a necklace that cost 40,000 galleons. But she was worth it.

She was going to give him a blow job, but he thought that eleven and twelve were WAY too young for that kind of thing, so they decided to make out from sunrise to dinner time, then time afterwards. But first they had to find a broom closet.

The first one they found was occupied with Percy and… a picture of Penelope Clearwater? Good dirt…

The next one was also occupied. This held Malfoy and Pansy Parkinson. Gross.

Then yet another one held… Crabbe and Goyle? Eew…

Many people had the same idea as Harry and Ginny. Seamus and Lavender Brown. Dean and Parvati Patil. Neville and Luna. Cedric Diggory and Cho Chang. Blaize Zabini and Hannah Abbot. George and Katie Bell. Finally, an empty one.

Ginny impatiently shoved Harry inside. She firmly pressed her lips to his, instantly sticking her tongue out. He accepted.

After all this, dinner over and all that rubbish, Ginny claimed she needed to use the ladies room.

"Alright. I'll be in my dorm if you _need _me."

She winked and walked away. He marched up the stairs. Harry looked in the room. Looks like he and Ron weren't the only ones to find out the charms. Seamus' bed had its curtains closed. But there was a silhouette. There were three people in there. Two, easily females. One, most likely Seamus. They were doing naughty things.

Harry crashed on his bed.

Five minutes later, there was a BINGBONG! And an announcement.

"Will all students report to their common rooms at once, please."

Harry stood. He then walked downstairs. Almost everybody was already there. McGonagall stepped in.

"We are so sorry to report that a student has been taken into Salazar Slytherin's secret chamber. This is called the chamber of Secrets. We have our staff trying to figure out where it is. We know its on the northeastern side, where Mrs. Norris was found."

Harry spoke up. "Who was carried in?"

"I'm sorry, Mr. Potter. It was Ginny Weasley."

Harry felt like he'd been stabbed multiple times. His Ginny? No. Fucking. Way. He slumped to the floor.

He mustn't grieve about it. He should probably look for her. He stood, and marched out of the hole, ignoring McGonagall's calls to come back.

Harry walked on. But he heard footfalls. He turned and saw Neville running after him. Harry stopped to wait for him.

Once Neville caught up to him, Harry said, "Come to stop me or help me?"

"Well, I was going to stop you, first. But I am thinking that I will help you."

"Thanks, Neville. That's really nice."

They walked to the eastern wing. While Harry walked past the Hospital, he noticed something he hadn't before. Hermione's hand was closed, like she was holding something. He walked in, and opened her hand.

She had been clutching a piece of paper. He read it. It was about a large snake called a basilisk. If you looked it straight in the eye, you would die instantly. The paper also had, in Hermione's writing, 'Pipes.'

Harry walked on. He read and reread the article. When Harry and Neville came to a hallway, a snake slithered across.

"GeT ThE FuCk OuT oF tHe WaY!" Harry hissed.

Neville stared at Harry. The snake obeyed. "Harry. How come you never told me you were a Parselmouth?"

"A What?" Harry asked, confused.

"A Parselmouth. Can talk and converse with snakes."

"I'm not sure what your smokin', but I'd like some."

Neville looked at Harry, surprised. "No. It's a dark wizard power."

"Wait. Hold on a tick. At the welcoming feast, I heard a threatening message. Something about killing. I could hear it cuz it was a snake! Wait. A Basilisk. Shite. Hermione had the answer the whole time!"

"But nobody has died, Harry. It says if you look at it straight in the eye, you die."

"But nobody saw its eyes directly. Hermione and Penelope saw it through that mirror. Ron saw it through my Invisibility cloak. Mrs. Norris…"

"She didn't have anything to look through. Ugh, whats this?"

They had stepped in a ton of toilet water. "That's it. Norris saw the basilisk's reflection. Ha! I win!"

Harry and Neville walked into the bathroom. They didn't pay attention to the fact that it was a girls one. They stopped when they heard movement. Lockhart was whistling and walking around the room. He spotted Harry and Neville. "Ah! What are you boys doing in here?"

"Looking for the Chamber of Secrets. You?"

"Same."

"Good. You can help us. Clues led us here."

"What clues?"

"This article. It says 'pipes.' There was an overflow of water outside. We are checking this out." And with that, Harry walked to the sinks, finding one with a snake on it. "OpEn."

It did so. Lockhart jumped in there air and "Whoop!"

Neville looked at Harry pleadingly. Harry nodded. Neville ran behind Lockhart and pushed him in the hole. Neville then received a high five. Harry waited for Lockhart's "oof!" before jumping in himself.

Harry fell to the bottom. Covered in snakeskin. The bottom was. "Come on Neville, its safe." Harry called.

30 seconds later, Neville came out of the slippy sewage slide. Lockhart was already standing, with a bump on his forhead.

He turned. "Alright. I'm thinking that I'll go back up now."

Harry said, "I'm thinking not."

"Ha! What are you gonna do?"

Harry and Neville pulled out their wands in unison. "I'm thinking you wanna stay here."

"And I'm thinking your right."

"We all know you're a fraud. So you know. Whatever."

"What? How? What again?"

"You're a fraud."

"Oh, yeah. Well. You cant tell anybody. In fact, im gonna erase your memory! _Obliviate!_"

The jet of light that erupted from Lockhart's wand missed both Harry and Neville. Not that it would really affect Neville, anyway. Anyways, the jet of light ricocheted off of the wall and was sent right back towards its producer. Lockhart was pushed and shot backwards right into the wall. Harry rushed forward, but Neville stayed where he was.

Once the dust cleared up, there was a large wall of rock in between Harry and Neville. There was a hole in which Harry could see Neville through.

"You okay Neville?"

"Well, I think I tore a ligament. Got Milk? But otherwise, I'm okay."

"What about Lockhart?"

"Well, his memory's erased. Yeah, he'll be fine."

"Good. I'm continuing on. Watch Lockhart, make sure he doesn't do anything stupid."

"Got it."

Harry ventured onward. He came across a door with snakes on it. "OpEn." It did so.

He walked into a large chamber. He saw a large statue of a head. It had a beard. Harry then spotted Ginny on the floor. He rushed forward.

"Ginny! Ginny! Wake up! Come on!"

"She wont wake, Potter." Said a cold, yet familiar voice from behind.

Harry got angry and turned to the voice, and was surprised to find Malfoy there. He had kind of a sick, twisted smile plastered on his face. There was also a hint of smugness.

"You killed her, didn't you, Malfoy! I'll kill YOU!" Harry jumped and started choking Malfoy, letting all the rage and hate flow out of him. Malfoy didn't stand a chance. Harry was pissed off the scale. Malfoy was behind it all. Ron and Hermione. Easy enough to figure out. They ruined his chance to ever be a father. Penelope and Mrs. Norris. Probably got him in trouble somehow. Ginny. Harry's girlfriend. _Perfect _revenge plot, there. But he wanted her to suffer.

Now Malfoy was suffering. But no matter _how _pissed off Harry could never kill a man. Well, maybe Voldemort, but…

Harry released his grip on Malfoy's throat. But Harry wasn't done. He kicked Malfoy in the balls. Hard. Malfoy was twitching and screaming in agony now. "Fuck you, Malfoy!"

Just then, a white form erupted from Malfoy. The thing bounced around, and finally came to a stop in front of Harry. "This isn't over, Potter!" The thing wheezed.

Harry stared, loathing the creature that was Voldemort. He knew he couldn't touch him now. The spell or whatever would go straight through him.

"CoMe, My CrEaTiOn!" Voldemort's soul spoke in parseltongue. The mouth of the statue opened, and the basilisk came out.

Harry shielded his eyes from the gaze of the basilisk.

"DrOwN YoUrSeLf, AnD YoUr CrEaToR!" Harry yelled.

"No, DoN't!"

"Do It!"

"NoOoOoOoOoOoOo!"

Too late, the basilisk drowned. Stupid thing. Voldemort turned, seething towards Harry, ignoring Malfoy's cries of pain. "You win this round, Potter!" Voldemort vanished.

Ginny sat up quickly. "Harry! Malfoy dragged me here! Are you okay? What's Malfoy doing? What's going-" She was cut off by Harry, who had pressed his lips to hers. She relaxed into the kiss.

Harry broke from her. We gotta get you checked out. Come on. _Stupefy!"_ He stunned Malfoy. "_Winguardium Leviosa!" _Harry held hands with Ginny while floating Malfoy behind him.

"Harry! I've made just enough room for you to squeeze through. Come on!" Neville said through a large hole in the rock.

Ginny crawled through. "Nice to see you, Neville."

Harry then floated Malfoy through. It took him a few tries, though. He kept 'accidentally' bumping him into the rock. Finally, Harry climbed through. He walked to the main room and floated Malfoy up the slide. Then Lockhart ("Wow! It's like magic!") then Neville. Finally, Ginny got her wand out, and they cast the spell on each other. They floated the other all the way up.

Finally, Harry once again floated Malfoy and walked to McGonagall's office. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley were already there, sobbing. Harry and Ginny told them the whole story. Once they were finished, Professor Sprout walked in with Penelope, Ron, and Hermione! They were woken. Happy time!

_Alright. That took a long time. Chapter three coming eventually. Yeah. Review, please!_


	3. Year III

Alright. So, **Colorofangels, **I'm not exactly sure how old you are, but have you gone to middle school recently? I just graduated. Deal. Yes, people do these sorts of things everyday. It's quite annoying what with people making out in the middle of the walkway. So, I'm not sure what your smokin', but what I say is true, so bugger off.

Year III

Instantly Hooked

Disclaimer: I seem to be 72.3 sure that I don't own Harry Potter to any extent.

Harry lay on his bed at 4, Privet Drive, reading the Daily Prophet. He noticed that, on the front page, there was an escaped criminal named Sirius Black from Azkaban. As he read on, it told that he was after Harry.

He was unconcerned. Harry had been told of numerous people who wanted his head. But… This man escaped from the best-guarded prison, and was now after Harry. He put the newspaper aside, and just started to think about what would happen to Ginny if this Sirius Black succeeded in his attempts to 'take care' of Harry.

Oh well. Let's not think about that now. Harry had to get ready and shiny and all that jazz because his so called 'Aunt' Marge was coming over to play.

Oh, the most joyous of occasions. Marge was _extremely _nice to Harry. Or maybe not. Her dog was one son of a bitch. Both literally and figuratively.

Harry picked up his special suit. It had a large flower protruding from it. Harry smiled as he remembered Ginny presenting it to him.

"_It never wilts or dies. Awesome, eh?"_

Yes. Very awesome. Harry didn't know how it was possible to love someone so much. You don't even know.

Anyways, Harry walked downstairs as soon as he heard his Uncle Vernon's car pull up in the driveway. He put his flower in his front pocket, which stuck there until he decided to take it out.

Vernon opened the front door. "Welcome, Marge to our home! Make yourself at it!" He said merrily. Harry wondered if Vernon was drunk or high or something.

Harry trudged up to his 'Aunt' with a large, fake smile plastered on his face. "Hello, Aunt Marge! How's it hangin'?"

"Well, I never! I say, Vernon, DO take care of this peasant!" She exclaimed in a very snotty voice, with just a hint of cheese. And with that, she attempted to pluck the flower from his pocket, yet failing miserably. Convenient, eh? "Bah."

She walked into the living room, where she literally showered Dudley with presents.

"Woot!" He said. Damn AOL users….

Harry rolled his eyes. "Dumb…" He murmured. Vernon shot him a murderous look, seething with hatred.

"Well, how's about we have a go with food, eh Petunia?"

"Oh right, Marge. Let us venture into the dining room." She whisked away. Harry watched amusedly as he had seen a teacher at Hogwarts he didn't know do that.

When Harry had successfully made his way into the dining room, Marge turned and smacked him, POW, right in the face.

"Ah! YOU cant dine with us, rodent! You eat in your room!" She threw him a dog treat.

"Ah. Pup-Eroni. My favorite." Harry said, loathing her.

"Good. I shoul-" She was going to say more, but her finger was inflating! It was strange, because Harry had just been thinking of breaking wizarding law and transfiguring her into a balloon. "Vernon!"

Said Vernon got up and grabbed his sister's ankle, as she was now floating and weighed 406 lbs.

But Marge just kept growing. Eventually, she just, exploded. Brains and guts and vital organs were splattered everywhere. Vernon looked menacingly at Harry. "You murdered my sister! I'll MURDER YOU!" And he tried. But Harry was too quick. He tripped Vernon and ran into his bedroom, grabbed everything remotely important to him, (His trunk was still packed.) and he ran downstairs and out the door. He ran as fast and long as his legs would allow, which just happened to be the train station. He went into Platform 9 ¾, and into the Hogwarts Express. He sat in a clear compartment, after looking into one that had a scruffy looking man with ginger hair.

Harry just needed to sit and think. He'd killed someone. He'd killed his 'aunt.' Shit. He was screwed.

Just then, the compartment door opened. Albus Dumbledore walked in and sat in front of Harry.

"Ah, Harry. Well. All I have to say is that I wouldn't have expected this from you, of all people."

He knew. Double Shit.

"Sir, I can explain. I was provoked! She sla-"

Dumbledore held up a hand. "I understand completely. Neither I nor the Ministry blame you for what happened to Ms. Dursley. But, running away like that, that was very foolish. What with the current circumstances…"

"You mean that Sirius Black guy?"

"Yes. He's very murderous. You MUST be careful, Harry."

"I understand."

"Good. Now I want you to go to the burrow. Merlin only knows that Ms. Weasley has missed you." Albus said with a slight twinkle in his eyes. Harry blushed.

"Oh, right. How do you propose I get there?"

"We will apparate. Grab my arm." Albus instructed. Harry did so. Albus contorted his face with complete concentration, hummed 'Ring around the Rosie' for some reason unbeknownst to me, turned, and after being squeezed, were at the Burrow. Dumbledore bid Harry farewell, and disapparated away.

Harry turned to the Burrow. Ah, how beautiful it was. He ran up to it, and kissed it, with only a bit of tongue. (ROFLMAO!) Sorry. Had to continue making fun of damn AOL users… Anyways, Harry ran up to the door and knocked. Crickets chirping.

Well, it was late, I suppose, as it was ten. So Harry grabbed his Nimbus 2000, and flew up to the window he knew was Ginny's. He knocked nine times. Finally, she opened the window tiredly. Once she saw who it was, though, she was wide-awake and squealing with delight.

"Harry! Hi! Come in!"

"Actually, I was wondering if I could come in via kitchen door. My trunk and everything, you see.."

"Oh, right." She closed the window, and sprinted downstairs. She had the door open before he even landed.

He grabbed his trunk and went inside. Once his hands were free of any item whatsoever, they were filled with a Ginny. His lips were also occupied, surprisingly. Once again, he resisted the urge to carefully pull her nightgown over her head, pull down her underpants, and insert his sexual organ into hers. But, like I said, he resisted. With much difficulty of course. They were quite young, after all. They'd have to wait a few more years for that, I'm afraid. And by a few, I mean one.

"Sorry Harry, but you'll have to spend the night with Ron, I'm afraid. Hermione's here and…"

"That's quite alright. I will see you tomorrow though, so I can last a night."

"Oh, good."

So they ventured upstairs. Ginny peeked into her room and then turned to Harry.

"She's not in there!"

"Is she in the loo?"

"I dunno. I shall check."

She did so, and came back empty handed.

"I have an idea." Harry said, indeed having an idea. He ran all the way upstairs and looked in Ron's room. Sure enough, there Hermione was, sleeping in Ron's arms, who was, surprisingly, not snoring.

Harry ran back downstairs to Ginny. "She is sleeping with Ron."

Ginny grinned. "Guess its just you and me then, eh?"

"Guess so." Harry said, trying to look disappointed, but failing miserably.

They walked, hand in hand, to the bedroom, where they fell asleep in each other's arms.

The next morning, Harry woke up at precisely 7:05 a.m. with an angel in his arms. He smiled at her. She was so cute in the morning. (Yes, I say that a lot.) It was convenient that Harry woke up at that precise time, because that's when Hermione walked in. She looked at Ginny, but to find that not only Ginny was there but Harry, too! Holy Crap!

"Harry!" She squealed. She came and hugged him, thus waking Ginny. Thanks a lot, yo.

"Hermione! Get off my man! How long has this been going on?" Ginny said tiredly yet mockly? Is that a word?

"Morning beautiful. Oh, and hi Ginny." Harry said with a smirk. He continued on with the 'discussion.'

Ginny put on mock hurt. "Ooh. Conflict."

Harry smiled. He loved her so much. You DON'T even know.

"Just kidding, Gin."

Now Hermione was playing hurt. "Oh, so now I'm not beautiful?"

"Course you are. Who said you weren't?" Asked Ron, while yawning and walking into the room. He obviously hadn't known Harry was there, because he was wearing frilly pink bunny slippers.

Harry snickered. "Hullo Ron!"

Ron turned and his eyes widened as he saw Harry. He discreetly discarded of the slippers. "Lo, mate!"

"Wazup?"

"Not much. I see you slept with my sister."

"Right you are, Ken."

"Ken? I'm Ron, remember?"

"Oh, it's a muggle TV show called MXC."

"What's TV?"

"Ask your father. He'd know."

Harry and Ginny went downstairs, hand in hand. "Hey mum." Ginny said.

"Hello dear, I-" Molly spun around. "_Harry!_ Oh, when did you get here? You look unhealthy. You need breakfast. Bacon or Sausage? Hell, have both. And pancakes, and eggs. Scrambled or poached?"

Harry was taken aback. Then he answered. "Ten last night. Bacon, please, and poached. Thank you Mrs. Weasley."

There was much fussing and rubbish such as that.

Later that day, it just so happened to be Diagon Alley day, so they went there. They got new everything. Books, quills, all that crap. On the booklists, it also said 'Parent or guardian sign here for Hogsmeade trips.' x. Since Molly was his guardian, as he was staying at her home, she signed it. Nothing particularly special happened at the alley, except that Hermione was almost mauled by a book that she tried to read, one that Harry already had experience with. _The Monster Book of Monsters._ They all tied them things up with a large roll of duct tape. Ooh, how I love duct tape. Yum. Oh well, continuing on!

That night, Hermione and Harry inconspicuously exchanged rooms. Nothing really bad happened. No intercourse or anything. Making out occurred, of course. Hermione and Harry exchanged rooms again at 6:00 am in the morning. They only had 3 hours til the train left for Hogwarts. Good thing they'd already packed.

Three hours later, the gang was boarding the train. Many people were staring at Harry with a look of… sorrow? Eh? What the fuck! What's that all about? Oh. Right, Sirius Black. You know, whatever.

Well, anyways, the foursome could only find a compartment that would fit them that already had someone in them. But he was sleeping. Harry looked at Ginny who looked at Ron who looked at Hermione who looked at the dude's luggage.

"Remus Lupin."

How convenient. His name just happened to be written there, as well as visible. Whatever. This Lupin guy didn't budge. So, I guess, Harry sat next to him and Ginny sat in Harry's lap. Ron and Hermione sat across from them, in separate seats. Although they_ did_ have intertwined hands.

After 5 hours of talking and laughing, the train came to a sudden stop, everything became black and cold… People remembered terrible things… But this is when Lupin jumped up and ran out the compartment. After a few more minutes of agony, the train came back to normal. Everybody cheered. Everybody except Harry. He passed out unbeknownst to everybody else. Until Ginny turned to kiss him, of course. Then she became beknownst. Again, is this a word?

"Ron! Hermione! _Harry!" _

Hermione looked at Harry, who was out cold. She jumped up, pulled out her wand, and cast, "Ennervate!"

Well, he woke up. Ginny was so relieved he was okay, you don't even know. In fact, she had almost started doing him on the spot. But this Lupin stopped her by shoving a chocolate frog in his mouth. Harry swallowed it, while Ron stared at him jealously.

--- Explanation of dementors in third book goes exactly as is.---

Once they got to the school, McGonagall ordered Harry and Hermione into her office.

"Potter. Are you alright?"

"Yes. Professor Lupin gave me a chocolate frog. I feel much better now."

"Well, Poppy will be pleased."

"Well, I think that's it for you, so go and get Ms. Granger to come in and then you can walk to the great hall together."

Harry did as he was told, as he was not one to argue with his strictest teacher! No he indeed was not, yo! At all. Not supposed to… I'm rambling. Ever so sorry about that.

When Hermione came out with her shirt's collar a little higher than it was before, Harry got suspicious. Was she wearing a necklace of some sort? Had McGonagall given her a hickey? Unlikely. And, kind of gross. But anyways…

They walked, or in Hermione's case, skipped, back to the great hall. Harry sat, you guessed it, next to Ginny. And Hermione sat on her significant other, AKA Ron.

"You both missed the feast! How could you?" Ginny said in mock angry lingo.

"Well, yeah, yo. I got checked out by McGonagall-"

Ginny interrupted abruptly, "The BITCH! How dare she move in on my man!"

Harry laughed. "Riiiiiiiiighht. So then she talked to Mione about something."

Ron and Ginny looked at their favorite bookworm questionably.

She giggled.

-4 weeks and fifty seven Broom Closets later-

Malfoy walked up to Buckbeak fiercely without any fright. "Your just a great big softy, aint ya? Your such a wuss. Your feathers are all ugly."

Buckbeak had heard Draco insulting his feathers, and… bit his head off. That's the way the cookie crumbles, I'm afraid. Wasn't exactly a lead character either, and didn't matter much.

Hagrid stared in unbelief. "Oh, Shit! Cra', cra', cra'! Buckbeak's gonna get a good ol' thwak thro his neck, bosh gumit!"

Harry quickly erased everyone's memories while Hermione transfigured the body to a tree.

Once class was over, the trio ran up to the dormitory. Harry locked and used all the privacy spells he learned last year.

"Oh Crapdamnit! Hagrid's going to get canned and there's nothing we can do about it!" Ron said quickly.

"Don't you think that we should hold a moment of silence for Draco?" Hermione asked.

"No! Not after he dissed upon Buckbeak and kidnapped my sister, yo!" Ron angrily said.

"Oh, okay, now I understand that point of view." Hermione said.

"Do you think it was right for us to erase everyone's memories? I mean- isn't that a bit irresponsible?" Harry asked.

"Hey, we didn't kill him. It was that bloody pigeon. Anyways, we should probably delete ours, too. We know too much…" Ron said mysteriously.

"Yeah, okay." Harry agreed.

They did so.

"Bah! We have that stupid report on the human reproductive system. I mean, come ON. We don't even take biology." Ron complained.

Hermione looked at him and whispered seductively in his ear.

"Yes! We have that entirely awesome reproductive system project! And we don't even take biology! We're hecka lucky."

Monday was a Hogsmeade trip. Harry had just realized that he'd forgotten to get Transfiguration essay finished. Ginny said something about going to get him a Christmas present anyways, so he'd just stay at the school.

"Mr. Potter, I'm wondering if you've seen Draco Malfoy. He hasn't been in class recently, and you might know something, as you're enemies." Professor McGonagall asked Harry in the hall.

"No Professor." In fact, Harry hadn't seen Malfoy for quite a while. And, frankly, he was happy about it. The less he saw of that fag, the happier he got.

"Yo Harry!" He heard twin voices yelling at him. He turned around and saw Fred and George. "We have decided that it is time for our legacy to be given to you." Fred pulled out a large piece of parchment. "Here you go."

They then ran away.

"What am I supposed to do with it?"

This thing was supposed to be their legacy, so Harry stared at it. And stared at it. Continuously. But he got bored and started singing. By the time when he sang the lyric, '_I solemnly swear I'm up to no good, bitch_!' The parchment did something. It made a map. Of… Hogwarts, complete with people. That's flippin' awesome!

"Bitchin'" Harry whispered to himself. He looked over the map. There he was, in the common room. "Damn, I cant show this to anyone, they'll want to steal it!"

So he tried everything that he could to make the map disappear, that would go with the opening line. EVERYTHING. From, 'Trouble Terminated' to 'Scheming Subsided.' And it didn't work. Then he tried 'Mischief Managed.' It worked. He's talented.

Now that he knew how to work it, he started again. "I solemnly Swear that I'm up to no good, bitch." It opened. He scanned it. Gossip is fun. He saw Crabbe and Goyle together, moving back and forth. (Ew.) He quickly put aside that part. Then looked at the grounds. Wait… Draco Malfoy? He was there?

Of course Harry had to check it out. He looked, and seemed right on top of Malfoy, but all he found was a smelly tree. Hmm.

Well, Of course, Harry knew that Malfoy's intellect pretty much amounted to a tree's so, he figured this must be his animagus. Plantimagus? What EVER. Shut up.

A couple weeks later, after completing his stupid dream diary for Divination, he went and made out with Ginny. Again. So we get a treat. A part of the story from Ron and Hermione's pov, aren't you excited? Well, okay. I lied. We're actually heading foreword in time again. Gee, I gave you your cake, but snatched it away, didn't I? I was just wasting time.

"Wake up, Harry! Merry Christmas!" Harry heard his girlfriend yelling. Then she 'ppthed' in his ear.

"Bloody hell, woman! Why would you do such a horrid thing?"

"Because its freaking Christmas, yo."

"YEAH!"

He ripped open a couple presents. Ginny had gotten him a box of condoms (with a note that said, 'later!') and a new golden snitch, for practicing. Ron had gotten him a watch. Hermione gave him a DADA book. Mrs. Weasley gave him the same old, same old. The Dursleys sent a rock.

Harry and Ginny sat all day watching the fire flicker, occasionally getting up to eat or use the bathroom. They couldn't stop holding each other, though…

Soon after the holidays, in the middle of the night, Harry jerked awake to a loud ass hollering. It was coming from Ron's bed, soon after, there was a sound of glass breaking, and the window was broken. Ron's eyes were wide and his face white as marble.

"I- I saw… _him._" He stuttered.

"Which him? There are a lot of guys in Hogwarts." Harry said reasonably.

"N-no.. It was.. _Sirius Black!_"

"Ooh, Im so scared, Ron, seriously, lets go back to sleep."

"You m-m-m-moron! Nooo. He was there… Then jumped out the window…"

Ron's story was instantly all over the school, even by Hogwarts standards. It was crazy. And of course, everyone thought Black was after Harry.

"You know, I sort of feel like finding this Sirius guy just to shut him up, I mean, I don't even know why he's after me." Harry told Ginny at lunch two days after the incident.

Professor McGonagall was walking behind Harry as he said this and asked him to follow her. Ginny, of course, followed. Ron and Hermione were, um, to 'preoccupied' to notice they had gone.

They followed her to her office, and sat down.

"Potter…I guess I should tell you exactly why Black is after you. He was a Death Eater… A Death Easter is someone who was one of You-Know-Who's followers. Black was one of the biggest. Not only does he want to kill you to exact revenge for his master's downfall… But, you see, Potter, Black was your father's best friend, and was secret keeper to your home. It was under the Fidelius charm, which hides a location unless the place's secret keeper, In your case, Sirius Black, tells another how to get there."

"So he gave Voldemort the address, did he?" Harry said furiously.

"Oui. And that is why he wants to kill you.." Professor McGonagall finished, somewhat lamely.

"Mother FUCKER!" Harry screamed.

Ginny looked at Harry like he was in deep, deep, shit. McGonagall, however, seemed nonplussed at this outburst.

"Potter, you must promise me this: Do not go looking for Black. He is extremely dangerous."

"Ppth, screw you. Im going to get him. NOW."

And he did so. He marched, half jogging, out onto the grounds.

"BLACK! I KNOW WHAT YOU DID! NOW SHOW YOURSELF, YOU BLOODY CHICKEN!" The only thing that happened was a big black dog looked at Harry sadly.

Harry ran around the grounds, and eventually tripped over the dog.

"Stupid mutt…" He 'mutt'ered. - Hahaha…

The dog began to change.. It was growing. The fur was going back into its skin, and the face quickly began to become pink. The eyes became sallow, as if they were extremely deprived of sunlight. And, Harry was lying on top of Sirius Black.

He whipped his wand out, and Ginny, who had gone and 'fetched' (haha, sorry, more humor) Ron and Hermione, screamed, "No Harry, no!"

Black opened his mouth, "Harry… You've got it all wrong. It wasn't I…Not… me…_Accio!" _ He had grabbed Harry's wand and pointed it at Ron. Scabbers the rat came flying out, having a real fit. Black rolled out from under Harry and said something under his breath. Just as Black had done, Scabbers began to change… He became fatter, balder, and slightly taller.

"This, is the real culprit, Harry."

Harry stared at the man. He seemed vaguely familiar…

"PETER PETTIGREW."

"Say what? I know for a fact that this guy is dead, you killed him!" Harry yelled at Black. "All that was left of him was a-"

"Finger! And look! He's missing one. I talked Lils and James out of making me the secret keeper, so yes in a way, it was I…"

"SIRIUS!" Professor Lupin had come running out onto the grounds and hugged Black.

"Remus, my good buddy."

"Oh… I guess. I understand.. Kill him!" Harry screamed.

Pettigrew, who was on the ground begging, turned back into a rat and ran off.

"No! Accio! ACCIO!" Sirius screamed. But it was too late. Pettigrew was already off the grounds and disapparated.

"So, Harry, Im your godfather."

"Oh, really? Can I come and live with you?"

"Well, Im still on the run, you see, so no. But you can come and live at my parents house in your fifth year."

Harry looked at him funnily.

**Okay, so that was ch 3. A little lame ending… So what? Don't matter. Go deal with it. I wouldn't mind review, you know…?**


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